Anarchy of Roses: Sensuality versus sex

By Neslihan

We can all agree on the fact that sex, nudity and sensuality are touchy subjects in some countries/ communities. It's not done, perverse or just very obscene and too personal to talk about. It's a hard reality though that sex is pretty much everywhere in the 21st century. The question is, does it bother? If you'd ask me, I'd say 'yes' and 'no'. 'No' because sex and sensuality are natural to me. It's not a must, it's basic. Everybody needs that kind of thrill, or that kind of femininity. You censor sex, well, you censor a huge part of a human being. You censor an existence.

As long as nudity is being presented in an artsy but not artificial way, I'm fine with breasts and asses. I'm not saying it always has to be functional or relevant. No, it just has to be aesthetically interesting to look at. If you let Rihanna wear a tiny, pink tong and let her dance on my telly with her bottom in a huge close-up, well, that to me is not artistic. It's too much of an in your face thing, you see? We're not talking about sensuality but sex. In your face sex. And that's when all this nudity totally bothers me.

Sensuality only with the intention of having sex is just incredibly dull and superficial to me. And now you're going to say that it's never Rihanna or Madonna's intention to give their sexy outfits a phylosophical meaning. That's fine by me. I mean sex sells, right? I still think it's a sad, sad world. Audrey Hepburn never had to show her nipples to make her audience fall in love with her but I guess times have changed.

You'd think that we're getting comfortable around naked bodies and sexual subjects but we somehow seem to disclose ourselves from those topics. Simply because we don't know how the other one's going ot react. I don't want to generalise but that's something I've noticed. Luckily for me, my friends are open about those subjects as well. They don't have issues with talking about their personal (sex) lives and they totally don't give me those "eeew what are you talking about" looks. It all depends on maturity, I guess.

What you find attractive is totally personal. It's about taste and perception. What might be sexy to you, might be totally boring to me and that's fine. That's totally okay. You don't need to justify your taste because who cares? Sensuality also depends on the culture you're being raised in. As for myself, I'm a girl with Turkish roots and when I look at my family it's super rude to talk about sensuality, sex or LGTB communities. It's something that can be changed or suppressed, they think. It's also unnatural, according to them. And that's even sadder.

My mother on the other hand is very comfortable around those subjects and she leaves my sister and me the choice to explore our own sexual identity. She's relaxed when she's talking about sexuality and I think that's very important. She also lets us wear the clothes we want and gives us our own space and I'm so thankful for that.

Somehow it seems to be impossible ta talk about sensuality without talking about sexuality. The other way around is possible though and that's very striking to me. I sometimes wished that a simple black dress were to be found a lot more sexier than a pair of hotpants showing 2/3 of your butt cheeks. I sometimes wished that Pasolini was more shocking to our generation than Keri Hilson (play it at 1:00). If that's even shocking because you see, it's a psychological fact that the more we see something, the more we get used to it. So, the next time Keri smacks her boobs into your face, you'll be like "whatever". Or that's how your psychological ego should work.

The reason of this post are Terry Richardson's portaits of Paz de la Huerta. Terry Richardson is a noted fashion photographer (I've always wanted to say this, Tyra) who's known for his sexy and controversial photoshoots. You recognise the Terry stamp immediately: crazy, sexy, playful, a bit shocking are the keywords. The Paz girl is one hell of a sensual chick. I've come across her pictures for the Agent Provacateur Fall/ Winter campaign and I was kind of amazed how natural she exposed herself and how comfortable she looked doing so. Not to mention her gorgeous face and body. And that name is just amazing. See for yourself.