2 is for Greed

By Neslihan

Once upon a chaotic time, in a capitalistic kingdom far away there lived this narcistic girl with tons and tons of selfish and greedy aspirations. Her selfishness was absolutely loathsome and her desires were unsatisfiable. She wanted everything, everything she layed her eyes upon had to be hers. And this was certainly the case when it came to clothing. Oh countless unsatisfied fantasies, where are you? Her greed was a sly as her personality. It was omnipresent but she repressed it. She had to. One day she would own her own Chanel 2.55 and her very own Paul Smith brogues. But until that day she had to settle with High Street made in China rip offs. And she was doing just fine until a very peculiar thing accured yesterday. It evoked her desires all over again and at once she knew what she was capable of. This is what happened: it was one PM and she entered her humble palace. As she went upstairs she saw a note on her desk. And black shorts. The note was from her old, very old roommate. It said: "You can keep the shorts if they fit." And yours sincerely knew immediately that those were the shorts she saw hanging in the bathroom. The Chanel shorts!!! A heavy thrill invaded her body and she began to sweat. Oh sweet Lord Jesus, was this real? "Pinch me!" she said. "Pinch me real hard! Wake me up from this false dream." But yes, this moment was real, but an unexpected destiny was still waiting to strike.

(Don't mind the freaky hand pose)

She decided to fit the shorts because the impatience made her shake all over her body. She wore them and was about to zip up her shorts, which went quite well but the majestic buttons caused some trouble. Or was it her post-winter tummy bleus? She could cry her eyes out. And a rage took control over her body. There were two ways: keep the shorts or... No, there was only one way, whether the shorts fitted or not. Keeping is the only way. And maybe one day, when she had three children, a fulltime job and a demanding husband, she'd be so stressed that she wouldn't find the time to eat. "One day they'll fit", she concluded. Fucking Parisian 38!