Personal inarticulate scribblings

By Neslihan
I feel like all I wanna do is nag about how sick I feel and cough and sneeze inbetween. Accopmpanied by accessories such as hankerchiefs and a candybar. And all I actually think of is how much this all is stopping me from doing things I had planned to do. I feel down and wanna shout how miserbale I feel. So everybody will know and keep that in account when I'm being an unbearable toddler. This also teaches me to listen more to my body, not to overrush things. Cuz lately I've been feeling hunted, as if I'm out of time. I'm juggling school life, love life and friends all at once and I'm dropping at least one everytime I try to juggle three of them. And it feels aweful and incomplete and a little voice keeps on telling me I can't have it all at once but I'm an overachiever so I try to combine them anyway and at the end I'm left alone and forget to be on my own sometimes. This confuses me and loneliness that once felt pleasant, feels awkward and painful because I learned to rely on others, when I once only relied on myself. So the most obvious solution for my so-called problem would be to appreciate again to be on my own. To take myself on dates, to be my own best friend again. Question myself less when I'm doing things for others but to focus more on the things I want for MY OWN. I feel like ambition and love kind of make yourself focus less on your centre because or you're working on something on the long run (ambition) so the result will be there after 4 to 5 years (school) or you're working on your relationship with others (boyfriend/friends) and therefore can't be selfish. At the end I'm living in the future and forget how much fun the present actually is. Imagine when this is all over and all I did was stressing about papers and books and I don't even have a cool story to tell my grandkids? I know it sounds silly but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel lived instead of living. I feel like I've turned into a boring 30 y.o. when I promised myself to loosen up a bit more in uni. I think I've got to tell myself that I'm in charge and shouldn't stress about things I can alter cuz life is in our hands and you can throw it away in the trashbin next to your desk or you can take it in both your hands, fumble it up, juggle it and drop it to pick it right up again. I feel an uncontrolable desire to embrace failures, yet at the same time I'd like to succeed. And I think because I always was so ambitious and zealous I never quite learned to cope with failures and I'm really aware of that now. Cuz I think the power of actually succeeding lies in your ability to deal with mistakes and failures and incorporate these things in a personal learning process, which is hard to see at the moments you're failing cuz the purpose of your failures (teaching you something) comes after a time. And sometimes it never comes, sometimes it just says you're plain stupid and you have to move on.

This moodboard tells exactly how I feel: physically vulnerable, yet mentally fierce, sophisticated, yet bold, elegant, yet unsubtle, traditional, yet radically rebellious, sexy, yet repellent, arrogant, yet insecure, soft, yet shocking, passive, yet aggressive, quiet, yet powerful.

1) Ola Rudnicka photographed by Willy Vanderperre for AnOther S/S 2014
2) Backstage at Meadham Kirchhoff F/W 2014
3) Flickr/Woefromwit
4) Source unknown
5) 'Oedipus Rex' by Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1967
6) Source unknown
7) Source unknown
8) Photograph by Dario Catellani

Talking business

I love dualities, what can I say. I just love how 'un-black -and white' things are. At first you're like it's this but when you take a closer look at things you can be amazed by the nuances lurking behind fabrics, styles and colours. Women for decades have tried to dress in a way they could be taken seriously by their male colleagues. Professional YSL deux-piéces, black tight knee-length Dior pencil skirts, boring tweed Chanel blazers but I think it's time to turn the tables. Just because you're 'accidentally' a woman doesn't mean you should hide your femininity and playfulness. It's time to re-claim your sensuality and femininity without having to give in on looking professionally. Whenever I watch dull restyling programs, those Trinnies and Susannahs are always like "DoNT W3aR C011ouRS, U WNT PEEpL To T4K3 u SER1OuSlY" and all my neckhairs rise. What is wrong with colours and following your own style? What is wrong with unconventional materials at the office? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And that's what (from left to right) Christopher Kane, Prabal Gurung, Versace and Mary Katrantzou are showing us. They're showing us that you can show some skin and still be the fucking boss. They make us aware of the fact that metalics are the new black. And that lilac leather split skirts are MADE to wear at the office, hence worn with a nice shirt. You don't wanna go trash queen on this one. And prints, my friend, are made to bedazzle your colleagues with its crowdedness.

To end this rather long blogpost.

Things I never got

On the Spring/Summer collections

By Neslihan

Let me sum up Dolce and Gabbana in a couple of words for you: boring you with one print which is being used for three kinds of clothing pieces. Because re-using this print for a midi dress, mini dress and midi skirt totally refreshes things. NOT. I am so damn bored of the classy, stiff, Sicilian mater familias theme. "Hey, we're Italians and we like to create the stereotype of the southern woman: which is sexy, sophisticated and a bit stiff." Upperclass boredom. And aren't you hating those chunky golden earrings already? Fuck your sophistication, Domenico and Stefano, we're all up for the next phase.

I used to worship Karl Lagerfeld until he totally started to hate on women being women (read not a size 0). He's just puking tweed in everything he does for Chanel. Okay, we get it, it was Gabrielle's signature but damn, man, can we move on now? Tweed aint no rock and roll. Tweed aint young. And tweed definitely aint an all year material. Who the hell wears tweed when it's 40°C out there? Exactly what I thought. And looking at his last collection I decided that I didn't wanna look like my grandmother's curtain.

Hey, it's Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy before he went totally hipster cool with his Disney deers and sensual orchids. But this is not Riccardo, it's that other motherfucker. The motherfucker named Marc Jacobs creating his last collection for Louis Vuitton. And this kind of breaks my heart because boy, have I enjoyed Marc's designs for the French luxury house blossoming since forever. It was a symbolic collection but not as touching as Raf's last collection for Jil Sander. Marc had created this powerful atmosphere of mourning, or that's what we, bloggers, make out of it. However I'd liked it more if Marc dearest would've gone all quirky on his last one for Vuitton but he didn't and that's a lost cause, my friend.        
    

   
Elie Saab is one of the things you can't hate. It's beautifully elegant and perfectly tailored but I always feel so out of place when I'm looking at his clothes. Also I always kind of feel like he creates the same dresses over and over again with adjusting minor details like colour, sleeves and split. It's crazy classy but so-oh boring. Perfect for bridesmaids and brides but we girls are more than only fragile. Give me some dirt to plunge my trainers in.

All fashion journalists write about Dior is the decor. Like seriously am I reading a fashion magazine or a DIY garden section in some lousy hobby magazine? Ofcourse it looks magical and touching but it's bad when the review on the decor is bigger than the review on the clothes. And I think that's a pity since I was so excited on Raf's take over at Dior's. Give the man some credit, and by the man, I mean his fashion and not on his roses, peonies et cetera.

You only hate on Kenzo because you're not part of the cool gang. So there is no legitimate excuse on hating Kenzo except one: the tiger sweater, which was literally on every blog that could afford one. But you got to be fair in your confessions: I'm totally in love with the shark theme but I'm totally gonna hate it if the sweater above appears on every blog like earlier the already mentioned tiger sweater.

Innocense Lost

By Neslihan

source

I feel like Lana Del Rey always captures this suburban melancholia, a place between hopelessness and forgotten ambition. A place between dreaming and surviving. A place where the future doesn't excist, it's about the now and here and tomorrow's another story. It's the moment, it's an instance of youthful recklessness. It's about falling and messing up inexcusably because we're young. Because we know we can go wrong at 18 knowing we'll be conformist adults at 33. And that somehow is a sad yet comforting (?) thought.
It's like the 60's generation. They all did drugs and alcohol. They were rebellious and were almost against everything but at 40 they had a job, a house, kids, two dogs and a car. They turned into conformists and forgot about capitalism, feminism, the Vietnam war. And I think that's what Lana Del Rey tried to show us because no one's gonna take her soul away, she's living like Jim Morrison.

And I have created a couple of outfits to accompany that vibe. I tried to incorporate black in every outfit because that's just the chiquest colour to wear and because I hardly wear anything else. I also wanted gold, roses and underwear with screamy logos. I felt like staying close to the 90's vibe, hence Calvin Klein and that ying yang necklace. And deep burgundies were also absolutely necessary to create that extra dimension of drama.

Lena Dunham, an unorthodox cover girl being tamed

By Neslihan

PROs
Lena Dunham for Vogue

The polka dot Burberry shirt

This video

CONs

source

source

source

source

After this short intro I can finally cut to the chase. When the news of Lena Dunham being February's Vogue cover star hit the non-existing Anarchy of Roses HQs I was gasping for breath. Not only do I identify myself with Lena's vanity, humour and genius but I also love how unorthodox and daring she is. Let me further express myself: she is the mastermind behind 'Girls', a non-compromising tv series following the daily struggles of 4 twenty-something girls in Brooklyn- New York. And these are exactly the things I like about the series but I'm not an objective criterion either since I'm literally gushing about it on a daily basis. But let me put it this way: if you're looking for a series that shows you awkward, uncomfortable, non-airbrushed, fictionalized reality than 'Girls' is definitely what you're looking for. I'm talking about break-ups, unflattering nudity, nervous breakdowns and the occasional moments of enlightenment. It's not typical American feelgood and life certainly doesn't have a lesson on the end of each episode. The series is about failing incessantly and trying to get back up afterwards and I think that's what we need. We don't need glamorized Hollywood productions telling us how we should live our lives or dress ourselves. The series has such a basic content, yet it's so powerful since a lot of people can identify themselves with the characters. And I think there's where this series' strength lies. It's not about perfect representations or escapism, it's about being subtly caressed by reality, showing us we're not the only ones struggling.
I wasn't expecting the same amount of reality from Vogue. We're talking about the fashion bible which is being set as an example for millions and millions of women. It's a copy paste thing. It's in because it's in Vogue and not the other way around. They make tomorrow's icons, so they still have that original authority thing going on, as one of the very few magazines. But I kind of lost that admiration for Vogue. I actually always freaked about their covers and editorials but the thing is the more I got engaged with fashion and fashion magazines, the less I could relate to the editorials and the fashion portrayed in it. It felt too literally, too forced, too unreal to get in touch with. The perfection combined with the excessive airbrushing made me look out for something more real (read blogs and magazines with personality). Ofcourse I do not think Vogue is the only magazine that actually airbrushes its models but IT IS SO GOD DAMN OBVIOUS WHEN THEY DO IT. I guess I'm ready for something new. More edgy perhaps, something that will inpsire me to explore my own identity instead of adopting the one 'the industry' creates. To put it dramatically: I H4V3 L1B3ER4T3D MYS3LF.
Ofcourse I think it's a pity that Anna Wintour and her acolytes didn't grab this opportunity to get rid of their infamous and not so body-friendly reputation, which is their and so many other women's loss. You just cannot underestimate the impact they have on the female population since they're a platform for women starting from the age of 16 to 77. Like why are there no tasteful nudes of Lena in Vogue? This is what she does, she stands for body positivity, why not accentuate that? Why is the cover so safe? And why does it show so many similarities with ID's Wise Up issue? I also feel like if Lena can't change the mentalities, who will ever be able to do so? It's just a never ending debate and I think it's bullshit. Denying the existence of other body types won't make them suddenly disappear and I think they deserve a bit of attention since they're also amongst the buyers and since they monthly invest in this magazine's growth. Wouldn't you think so, Anna?

Despite the criticism I think the pictures turned out really well. And can I get an AMEN for Adam Driver please? I'm also in love with the setting, oh Brooklyn, my heart's pounding for you.

This picture has actually nothing to do with the whole Vogue story but I had to share this one. How amazing does she look in that darling red dress?

Another kind of post

I want a mermaid

speaking about going crazy

I have been thinking about

mermaids lately.
but I can't place them

properly in my 

mind.

one problem that bothers

me

is where are their sexual

organs located?

do they use toilet paper?

and can they stand

on their flipper

while frying bacon and

eggs?

I think 

I'd like a mermaid

to love.

sometimes in the supermarket

I see crabs and baby

octopi

and I think, well,

I could feed her that.

but how would I pack her
around at the racetrack?

I get my things and then
push my cart to the
check-out stand.
"how are you today?" she asks.
"o.k.," I say.
she has a
market uniform
flat shoes
earrings
a little cap
pantyhose.

she rings up my
purchases. I know
where her sexual organs
are located as
I look out the
plate glass window
and wait.


By Bukowski
From: 
what matters most is how well you walk through the fire. 



Pictures:
1) Unknown on tumblr
2) Christopher Shannon SS '14
3) CR Fashionbook, Doves FW '13

B0dY H41R

By Neslihan 

Can we please talk about the girls with the frizzy hair and the little tummies. The ones with red spots on their face and the little pimples on their chin. Can we please stop acting like they don't excist. Hey media, hey advertisement, yes, you're the guilty ones. Hello girls, who impose themselves impossible beauty ideals, while in fact embracing your own pure natual self would've been a whole lot easier and healthier even. I know, I know, it's a quite corny, yet necessary subject and saying things is of course easier than doing them because we're talking about decades of imprinting and dogmata. It is not easy, I know. It is not easy to reject the ideal media are actually presenting you because it somehow is easier to accept that that is right and to hate on yourself in the meantime. If you could just be realistic and finally understand that those picture perfect girls and boys are total fiction. Photoshop aint a recent invention but that's something I shouldn't tell you 'cause you've heard it all before. So let me actually start talking about the ACTUAL subject of this post. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT BODY HAIR. Well, I think that was clear...
I'm a girl with black thick hair and I am proud of my heritage. It is my proud, my priority. And yes, this is vain and superficial but we all are. And that was an 'argumentum ad populum'. Suck on that, philosophy! My eyebrows are full and thick and really obvious and those are the times when I actually embrace my DNA. But then come the days on which the little hairs on my upper lip get visible, I call them my 'whiskers' and will from now on refer to them as my whiskers in this blogpost. And those are the days I totallay loathe my DNA. On those days I just wished I had da blond DNA, you know, for the easiness of it, hell yes. But no, I wouldn't wanna miss the fabulous portion Indian hair, so we'll have to deal with the body hair.
Removing it is an option and it often is the only option and if it's not then it still is. I mean just think of the pictures on which Julia Roberts flawlessly sports her armpits and gets shamed for it. It instantly became a gimmick. Or think of Gwyneth Paltrow talking about her body hair, it caused a fucking shock in 2013. We act like we're liberal and really open-minded but we can't even tolerate a dash of fluff on some body parts, even if they are not ours. We just refuse to see it in public because it's 'provoactive' and a bald puss isn't? I just don't understand why this creates such a huge debate. I was always told to do whatever I liked with my body. It was mine and I was the boss and I don't even know why I'm using the past tense. I AM THE FUCKING BOSS. I'll grow my leg hair if I want to and it is none of your icky picky business. And if you ask me why I have a 'black carpet' on my legs, I'll ask you just the same, Mister. "Well -haha- 'cause I am a man, you see."
- And I am a mammal if you'll let me.

Because Kristen McMenamy is always flawless.

A Letter to the Royal Academy

By Neslihan

Dear Academy,
Before you end your 50th birthday, I'd like to tell you a thing or two. You've been celebrating your glorious birthday which was filled with appreciation, inspiration and aspiration. Something like: "We've been doing well but we'd like to do better in the future." You've had Ackermann and Van Noten as your pupils and now they've all reached that point in which they could teach YOU a couple things. You're seen as this unaccessible ice queen who has shot herself in this fireproof iron tower and this reputation is most likely accurate. You're an institution, a royal household even (hence Royal Academy). You produce the fashion elite in this country and even beyond since we're 8th in the 'Top 50 Fashion Schools in the World' ranking. Do you even know what that means? It means, you, dear Academy, have gained the monopoly over fashion designing. Not bad for a country as big as Louis XIV 's backyard. (This one is total exaggeration but I'm tryina make a sketch for you *wink*) And during your birthday you've had uncountable eulogies, including an amazing retrospective looking back on your iconic history. And it is worth a retrospective, I must say. But here is the actual reason of my blogging. I've had a quite emotional conversation with this girl, who studied fashion design at KASK (your little brother in Ghent) but after a time she had had a couple of bad experiences in her private life and she had to quit studying because she was suffering from a total inspiration block. She had to put everything in order before she could start designing again. She put her aspiration on hold and decided to study Art History. This is completely theoretical and this doesn't entirely feed her aesthetics. She's constantly drowning in inspiration again but she can't live it up. Because it's too expensive, too cold and too exhausting to start all over again. And we all know how exclusive those academies are. She also told me about the amount of foreign designers in such academies and I think that's a pity. Because whe should be focussing on our own talents, who are truly waiting to be discovered. The Royal Academy and every other Fashion Academy should be a platform for young starting designers who want to add something to the fashion world. What they're suffering now is constant unappreciation and rejection. We should open our arms and educate them because they've got so much to show us. Artists who are studying to actually become one (this sounds so weird) have always encountered difficulties in terms of funding and scholarships. Let me explain. Take a history student for example, she's applying for a scholarship and she could easily get one. But when it comes to designers they have to have their own funds. Everything they invest comes from their own savings. I don't know whether we have funds here in Belgium for studying artists, there is so much ambiguity surrounding the topic. And I'd like to know more about it as I'll keep my eyes on you, dear Academy.
Happy birthday once more.

For the retrospective: http://www.momu.be/tentoonstellingen/nu_in_het_momu/
For more info: http://hbda.be/new/nl/activiteiten/antwerp-icons

PS I know how cliché this Antwerp Six picture is but it's so great.
PPS I'm sorry for the unstructured rambling.