Personal inarticulate scribblings

By Neslihan
I feel like all I wanna do is nag about how sick I feel and cough and sneeze inbetween. Accopmpanied by accessories such as hankerchiefs and a candybar. And all I actually think of is how much this all is stopping me from doing things I had planned to do. I feel down and wanna shout how miserbale I feel. So everybody will know and keep that in account when I'm being an unbearable toddler. This also teaches me to listen more to my body, not to overrush things. Cuz lately I've been feeling hunted, as if I'm out of time. I'm juggling school life, love life and friends all at once and I'm dropping at least one everytime I try to juggle three of them. And it feels aweful and incomplete and a little voice keeps on telling me I can't have it all at once but I'm an overachiever so I try to combine them anyway and at the end I'm left alone and forget to be on my own sometimes. This confuses me and loneliness that once felt pleasant, feels awkward and painful because I learned to rely on others, when I once only relied on myself. So the most obvious solution for my so-called problem would be to appreciate again to be on my own. To take myself on dates, to be my own best friend again. Question myself less when I'm doing things for others but to focus more on the things I want for MY OWN. I feel like ambition and love kind of make yourself focus less on your centre because or you're working on something on the long run (ambition) so the result will be there after 4 to 5 years (school) or you're working on your relationship with others (boyfriend/friends) and therefore can't be selfish. At the end I'm living in the future and forget how much fun the present actually is. Imagine when this is all over and all I did was stressing about papers and books and I don't even have a cool story to tell my grandkids? I know it sounds silly but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel lived instead of living. I feel like I've turned into a boring 30 y.o. when I promised myself to loosen up a bit more in uni. I think I've got to tell myself that I'm in charge and shouldn't stress about things I can alter cuz life is in our hands and you can throw it away in the trashbin next to your desk or you can take it in both your hands, fumble it up, juggle it and drop it to pick it right up again. I feel an uncontrolable desire to embrace failures, yet at the same time I'd like to succeed. And I think because I always was so ambitious and zealous I never quite learned to cope with failures and I'm really aware of that now. Cuz I think the power of actually succeeding lies in your ability to deal with mistakes and failures and incorporate these things in a personal learning process, which is hard to see at the moments you're failing cuz the purpose of your failures (teaching you something) comes after a time. And sometimes it never comes, sometimes it just says you're plain stupid and you have to move on.

This moodboard tells exactly how I feel: physically vulnerable, yet mentally fierce, sophisticated, yet bold, elegant, yet unsubtle, traditional, yet radically rebellious, sexy, yet repellent, arrogant, yet insecure, soft, yet shocking, passive, yet aggressive, quiet, yet powerful.

1) Ola Rudnicka photographed by Willy Vanderperre for AnOther S/S 2014
2) Backstage at Meadham Kirchhoff F/W 2014
3) Flickr/Woefromwit
4) Source unknown
5) 'Oedipus Rex' by Pier Paolo Pasolini, 1967
6) Source unknown
7) Source unknown
8) Photograph by Dario Catellani

Talking business

I love dualities, what can I say. I just love how 'un-black -and white' things are. At first you're like it's this but when you take a closer look at things you can be amazed by the nuances lurking behind fabrics, styles and colours. Women for decades have tried to dress in a way they could be taken seriously by their male colleagues. Professional YSL deux-piéces, black tight knee-length Dior pencil skirts, boring tweed Chanel blazers but I think it's time to turn the tables. Just because you're 'accidentally' a woman doesn't mean you should hide your femininity and playfulness. It's time to re-claim your sensuality and femininity without having to give in on looking professionally. Whenever I watch dull restyling programs, those Trinnies and Susannahs are always like "DoNT W3aR C011ouRS, U WNT PEEpL To T4K3 u SER1OuSlY" and all my neckhairs rise. What is wrong with colours and following your own style? What is wrong with unconventional materials at the office? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And that's what (from left to right) Christopher Kane, Prabal Gurung, Versace and Mary Katrantzou are showing us. They're showing us that you can show some skin and still be the fucking boss. They make us aware of the fact that metalics are the new black. And that lilac leather split skirts are MADE to wear at the office, hence worn with a nice shirt. You don't wanna go trash queen on this one. And prints, my friend, are made to bedazzle your colleagues with its crowdedness.

To end this rather long blogpost.

Another kind of post

I want a mermaid

speaking about going crazy

I have been thinking about

mermaids lately.
but I can't place them

properly in my 

mind.

one problem that bothers

me

is where are their sexual

organs located?

do they use toilet paper?

and can they stand

on their flipper

while frying bacon and

eggs?

I think 

I'd like a mermaid

to love.

sometimes in the supermarket

I see crabs and baby

octopi

and I think, well,

I could feed her that.

but how would I pack her
around at the racetrack?

I get my things and then
push my cart to the
check-out stand.
"how are you today?" she asks.
"o.k.," I say.
she has a
market uniform
flat shoes
earrings
a little cap
pantyhose.

she rings up my
purchases. I know
where her sexual organs
are located as
I look out the
plate glass window
and wait.


By Bukowski
From: 
what matters most is how well you walk through the fire. 



Pictures:
1) Unknown on tumblr
2) Christopher Shannon SS '14
3) CR Fashionbook, Doves FW '13

Cool chicks cut their own hair

By Neslihan

Kristen McMenamy

You remember those cool girls in high school? You know the ones that always looked effortless without even trying. The ones who cut their own hair and wore high waist 80's jeans without looking like they had been cut down in two at their middle. Those bad ass chicks who wore ugly trainers and totally rocked them. They started trends without even wanting it. They formed this unaccessible, yet accessible click and they said "You can't sit with us" without even opening their mouths. They could even make chav or homeless look glam. This post is dedicated to those girls. To all the quirky chicks who had the balls to take their destiny into their own hands and cut their own hair without even their hand trembling. 

And I respect that. I do! I've got my straight bangs for almost 5 years now and haven't seen my forehead since 2008 (a little exaggerated but you get the point). I visit my hairdresser once/2 weeks since my hair grows quite fast, or at least my bangs do. I hate that two-weekly visit. I think it's a tremendous waste of time but since I lack the cut-your-own-hair skill, I'm not risking anything. I've once tried it and it's never to be repeated again. My bangs were unequally cut and I had this wave thing going on. That was a hair disaster, say a dark page in my hair history. So NEVER, NEVER, NEVER again.
I can imagine that amazing feeling of freedom or selfconfidence when taking those scissors in your hands though. It's this "I'm the creator of my own disaster" thing but that's not always the case. Because there are a lot of successful stories aswell. Alexa Chung for example cuts her own hair too and always looks fabulously flawless after doing so. Some poeple take the extra mile by giving theirself a pixie haircut, now that is something to admire, I think. And so does Vogue UK in their November issue:

 Call it the ultimate in laid-back chic, call it recession ringlets, call it what you will - but there's a whole new wave of creative women taking hair maintenance into their own hands. "Traditionally cutting your own hair was something not spoken about, a social taboo", says hairstylist Zoe Irwin. "But now it's a sort of throwaway beauty adventure, a new way of embracing the spirit of our times." -From 'Making the cut'

 I love Freja Beha's chaotic straight bangs. Since she has different layers in it, it looks easy to cut it yourself.

GIRL CRUSH #1

Florence - I have awesome hair- Welch

Hair heroine

Hey, I'm Zooey - awkward- Deschanel

Cute pixie

Michelle Williams

Alexa Chung and her homemade haircut

Trashy glam

Belles de Banlieu shoot in Jalouse FR (November 2012)

Or the bad girls from the block

Photography by Timur Celikdag

“It’s about the bad girls I knew at school, the ones I envied”, Miucca Prada on establishing Miu Miu.

Sources: Vogue UK, Jalouse FR, both November 2012

Things I'm currently in love with: part one

I know the fact that I keep switching languages can get quite annoying but I just cannot help it. When I see something and get inspired I start thinking in the language that has or nothing to do with it or is connected to it. Pretty logical. Anyways I will be posting in English consistently or at least try to do so. The reason of this post is explained in the title. I have lots of pictures that I kept saving on my computer and I think it's time to share those with you.

1) Detail picture of Dolce & Gabbana RTW fall/winter 2011-2012: Okey, can we all stop nagging about the fact that it's fall? This counts for me as well! Look at those great fall/winter collections. Look and fall in love! I'm currently in love with false and tasty blingbling and yes, tasty blingbling exists. It's kitsch but I like!

2) I have a gitter obsession! I don't know whether it's healthy but my nails love it! My nails are screaming for more because less isn't more when it comes to sparkles! You may say that it's childish and proves bad taste but I do certainly not share your opinion. It's the best feeling of nostalgia I get. (These aren't my nails.)

3) This isn't something that happened currently. I had a thing for Nicole long before she got married. She has this natural grungy, bohemian style going on which I absolutely adore. These days she looks a little more ladylike though but there's nothing that wouldn't look good on her.

4) People who follow me on tumblr already know this but since Burberry has come up with this jacket I've been hit in a really hard way by its awesomeness. Thank god H&M has this too but only cheaper!

5) People who have been following me on my old blog already know this but I have a galaxy print addiction as well. This doesn't mean that I'm over my flowerpower period. It simply means I've one more print addiction. These scarfs belong to Emmanual Bousset and they're made of 100% silk.

6) Well, I do not only love her latest music video but also some of her hair styles. Right now I'm obsessed with her short hair from a while ago. I'd like to have this hairdo but the thing is I do not have the patience to grow it again. So it's still one big questionmark.

7) I just love the inspiration it provides me! Really! Follow me on: http://fashionmaniaatlarge.tumblr.com/! 

N.D.

Bad hair day: part one

Negative blog post allert! I'm here to give you guys some updates about my daily and by times quite boring life! Sometimes I wished that I had perfect hair. You know, hair that listens to you and isn't wild or puffy! Why can't I have Jameela Jamil's hair? Why, oh why? Why doesn't my hair grow as fast as the weather changes here in Belgium? Why can't my straight bangs be 'straight' for once instead of frizzy? Why am I tired of my clothes and why can't I find clothes in my wardrobe while I have so many of 'em? Okey, not as many as Carrie Bradshaw has but enough. I am sick of nagging about clothing or my hair but I simply cannot help it. And this wheather doesn't make any of this better! *Grrr* I really like my hair at times because it's black and short and thick! I have moments during which I'm proud of my hair but now I'm really tripping about it! In times like these I tell myself it'll be okey tomorrow. And that's what usually happens. So I'm waiting for tomorrow. Not sorry for being a drama queen because it's relieving at times. And yes, I exaggerated a bit but that's relieving too. I'm just being a teenager, you know? *Smiley*

Some girls have all the luck. *Sigh*
-Jameela Jamil-

N.D.